Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Where We Belong

The word wilderness derives from the notion of "wildness"—in other words, that which is not controllable by humans.

With our constant growing population and need for more living space, the idea of wilderness has become endangered. It has become the goal of many activists and foundations to preserve what few wild places are left in our country. 

The wilderness is a hard place. A hard place, but also a beautiful place. There is so much to discover when you are alone in the wilderness, whether it be in the wilderness of nature or the wilderness of the heart. God meets us in these places. In these quiet, undisturbed places of life. 


"That which is not controllable by humans," isn't that where we are? Where we belong? A place not controlled by us but by God… So often in the Bible, people are sent into the wilderness to sacrifice to God, to meet with Him, to learn and grow in their relationship with Him. The wilderness is a powerful, heart-wrenching, life-changing place.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Molded and Hopeless

I'm afraid to run away, and I'm afraid to stay. I'm afraid to let go, and afraid to hold on. I'm paralyzed. My joy is falling apart around me and I'm frozen. Standing, watching, holding my breathe. Fear is all I can manage, all I have left. If I hold my breathe long enough, there won't be a choice to make...

OPEN YOUR EYES!

It doesn't have to be like this. Don't let go of the joy, don't run away from it. Let go of yourself, let loose your heart. There's nothing left to lose. No love, no self respect. You have wings, yet you slither in the dust. Hold on to your dream. Bare your soul, standing naked before the rising sun.

I've lost my footing. There's no one there to pull me up. My sturdy rock has rotted under my stench. This stifling, mildew filled air encased in every fiber of my being. Building up with every hidden piece of myself. Eating away my flesh until there's nothing left.

I have nothing left.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Too Long Unused

Standing on a chair, I dust away the cobwebs. Coughing as the particles swirl through the air into my lungs. From the farthest corner of the closet I pull out two old cardboard boxes. The edges are all torn up and there are layers of tape along where two sides meet. My heart starts racing..... today is like it's own little Christmas. Although there is nothing new or fancy or special inside, my mind leaps at the thought of what is being contained. Within these over used walls is the long awaited coming of cold brisk weather.

My heart smiles.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Coming of Fall

Stepped out my front door this morning, stopped, closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. A shiver of pure joy ran down my spine. Today is my favorite day of the year. Not September 18, but today. This day! When I took in that cool morning air, something in my body triggered and I just knew. Today is the first day of Fall in Flagstaff. The best day of the year!

For me, this day reminds me of the presence and beauty of God more than anything else. It's like there's this switch inside of me that when I breathe in this particular smell in the air at this particular temperature with this amount of wind, that switch is flipped. A switch that brings me into the love of God through His desire to create something beautful for us, His children. It's something connected to the soul more than to the mind or body. An innate sense of perfection in a world created just for us by a loving father.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Learning the art of The Long Meal

In the Jewish household the dining room table is seen as an altar. 'Time spent around the table with each other is time spent with God." - Velvet Elvis. I finished reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell this morning and at the very end he is talking about how important it is to commune with one another, to feast and party, and to spend quality time together around a good meal.
This is a strange view in our culture today, seeing the table as an altar, as a place to meet with God through those around us. I think about the table in my house right now. Covered with books, junk mail, trash. Nothing to suggest a place to meet with God. We have taken for granted this special place in our home. This place to see God in all His glory living through those around us. When we come together with food and we share ourselves, our joy and pain, doubts, questions, fears, we become naked before one another and we see Jesus working and living and loving! We have forgotten that EVERYTIME we come together with food we are taking communion, taking in Jesus, consuming Him!
We need to remember the importance of the common meal, the "Eucharist." We need to learn the "art of the long meal," sharing and enjoying one anothers presence, delighting in each other. We need to dust off our altars and get into this mindset of bringing God to the table with us through our reality and finding joy and peace in this experience!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Excerpt - Atlas Shrugged

"I'm after a man whom I want to destroy. He died many centuries ago, but until the last trace of him is wiped out of men's minds, we will not have a decent world to live in."

"What man?"

"Robin Hood."

"He was the man who robbed the rich and gave to the poor. Well, I'm the man who robs the poor and gives to the rich---or, to be exact, the man who robs the thieving poor and gives back to the productive rich.

"I seized the boats boats that sailed under the flag of the idea which I am fighting: the idea that need is a sacred idol requiring human sacrifices---that the need of some men is the knife of the guillotine hanging over others---that all of us must live with our work, our hopes, our plans, our efforts at the mercy of the moment when that knife will descend upon us---and that the extent of our ability is the extent of our danger, so that success will bring our heads down on the block, while failure will give us the right to pull the cord. This is the horror which Robin Hood immortalized as an ideal of righteousness. It is said that he fought against the looting rulers and returned the loot to those who had been robbed, but that is not the meaning of the legend which has survived. He is remembered, not as a champion of property, but as a champion of need, not as a defender of the robbed, but as a provider of the poor. He is held to be the first man who assumed a halo of virtue by practicing charity with wealth which he did not own, by giving away goods which he had not produced, by making others pay for the luxury of his pity. He is the man who became the symbol of the idea that need, not achievement, is the source of rights, that we don't have to produce, only to want, that the earned does not belong to us, but the unearned does. He became a justification for every mediocrity who, unable to make his own living, had demanded the power to dispose of the property of his betters, by proclaiming his willingness to devote his life to his inferiors at the price of robbing his superiors. It is this foulest of creatures---the double-parasite who lives on the sores of the poor and the blood of the rich---whom men have come to regard as a moral idea. And this has brought us to a world where the more a man produces, the closer he comes to the loss of all his rights, until, if his ability is great enough, he becomes a rightless creature delivered as prey to any claimant---while in order to be placed above rights, above principles, above morality, placed where anything is permitted to him, even plunder and murder, all a man has to do is to be in need. Do you wonder why the world is collapsing around us? That is what I am fighting. Mr. Rearden. Until men learn that of all human symbols, Robin Hood is the most immoral and most contemptible, there will be no justice on earth and no way for mankind to survive."