We watched the movie "The Holiday" today. It's about these two women who switch houses for two weeks during Christmas time. They both were having problems at home because of the men in their lives (or lack there of). Wanting to get away from everything they knew, they went half way around the world for their escape.
As I'm sitting here in what is meant to be my escape, all I can think about is home. My work, my friends, my church, my whatever, MY HOME. All these things, these people, these things I thought I needed to get away from I have come to realize are exactly what I need. I left because I was angry, stressed out and unhappy with where I was in life. Because I have such a hard time getting close to people I felt I had no one I could express how I truely felt to. Not being able to connect with those around me made life a lot more difficult. I felt so alone back home because of this, so I thought it would be easier to leave and get away from all the things that were bothering me. As it turns out what I really need is to come closer. Closer to myself, to God, and to my friends. I've been reading "Sex. God." while on my trip and it couldn't have come at a better yet harder time. It's all about being connected and here I am half a world away from everything I know and love.
So in this movie "The Holiday" both women meet these new fantastic men on their vacation and all ends happily ever after. As I am watching this I can't help but think to myself, "What am I doing here? That's not what I want!" After the movie was over I went up stairs and read one of the letters that my friends sent with me to remind myself of why I love what I have. I love what I have back home, but that doesn't mean some aspects of it don't need to change.
I have some friends who have been married for over thirty years. They have one
of those Johnny and June [Cash] marriages. I was in a meeting with them last
week, and I noticed that when the meeting was over and everybody was leaving the
room, they were still seated, deep in
conversation about something. He was
smiling. She was leaning close to him as she spoke. It reminded me of a
conversation I'd had with him recently in which he was telling me about a
vacation they'd just taken and how the highlight for him was the
conversation he had with his wife. It struck me as I walked out of the room:
they're still getting to know each other. Still talking, still telling stories,
still exploring just who this person is. They understand that people are highly
complex beings and that the soul is infinitely deep. If you're mingling your
soul with another soul, and there's no end to the depth of both your souls, this
could take a while. - Rob Bell "Sex. God."
I want to be like this couple and not just with my spouse but with all my friends. I want to keep learning all that I can about the people I surround myself with. I'm tired of surface level relationships. I want a real connection with people. I want to be naked before the people I care about. We need to live as if we'd never fallen.
3 comments:
Hey I hear you roseanna! But it's so hard! I mean I'm still struggling to become vulnerable with Melissa, and I've never been as close to anyone as I am to her. You know I think the bottom line is that it just takes time and history, for us to be able to trust each other with our hurts and dark places of our hearts. I definately want to try, however. Somehow I think that it must start with becoming naked before God, then maybe I think I'll have enough courage to get naked with you....Hey you want to get naked and start the revolution?
I'll take that as a maybe:)
hey love hearing these thoughts from you! Hope your time in germany is everything you expected and maybe some that you didn't. miss you at the house,,,i won't be there when you get back:( I moving in with my parentals.
love you!
emily
Hey What happened!!? I want to hear from roseanna!!!
Post a Comment